You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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