Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
he puts the penis in happiness.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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