dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize