dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
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