Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
