operation harelip BJ is a go
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
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