not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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