i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize