im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
