How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
