Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
