I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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