You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
