U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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