oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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