Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
