Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
