my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
