Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I wish i was in the wii world.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
