That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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