Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
where am i from again
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Randomize
