Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
