He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
