Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
