we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize