please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
