The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Pants are for mortals
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
