if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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