that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
