Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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