By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
