I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
bring money and cleavage
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
