went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
