I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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