somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I don't deserve a penis
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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