he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
