NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
