The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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