The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
