I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
