im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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