I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
