I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
smell my finger.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
