No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
