i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
