For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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