There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
