i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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