I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
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my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
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And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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