K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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