I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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