Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I AM VODKA MAN
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
