mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
party gras won. party gras always wins.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
