im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
