now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize