peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just had sex bonerless
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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