I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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