i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
