my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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