dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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